Pursuit of Happiness
October 29, 2009 | 17 Comments
OBSERVATION
Observe your thoughts but don’t go anywhere with them. In other words don’t jump to a conclusion too soon.
There is a 5,000 word explanation for the power of observation but the basics are to understand what our first is and what our second thought is. Our first thought is intuition and our second thought is originated from our ego. There still is a problem as our ego demands you to believe that the second thought is in fact your first.
Your first thought is an immediate flash of knowledge that arises; sometimes without you taking much notice. Do nothing but be aware that this is how it works.
QUOTE: “Seek not that the things which happen should happen as you wish, but wish the things that happen to be as they are, and you will have a tranquil flow of life.” (Epictetus)
Nature has a habit of lifting our spirits – never, never underestimate this potential! Have you ever spoke to an animal of your problems? You’ll never get advice, but you’ll get a listening ear. Why does food and drink taste so good when you’re sat by the beach? Yet strangely the same food at home never realises the same potential for happiness.
Write down during any normal day events that trigger a happy feeling. Then when that day turns sour you can look back at your journal and know what action to take that can bring back that happy feeling. It maybe that cooking or listening to the radio is good, or looking out of a specific window. You’ll only really know by keeping a good journal.
CENTRE YOURSELF
Although Meditation, Yoga, Chi Kung and Aerobics for example are good tools for restfulness, they may not be right for you. One specific option for restfulness is appreciating the value of giving full attention. When you only give half attention, your other half is drifting off trying to solve some problem or drift off into a dream of fantasy.
Try using full attention as thus… Opt for some mundane job such as cleaning a brass handle on the door. Don’t put a time limit on the job as that will affect the whole task. Feel the cloth and the texture, listen to the glug of the fluid as it drips onto the cloth. Feel the dampness of the cloth with your finger as you apply the solution to the brass. Watch carefully as you press and apply the right pressure to rid the brass of the grime. Listen for the squeak as the grime disappears and the true colour emerges. Clean with precision and don’t leave any grime left on the door handle.
This whole process may have taken 30 minutes, the completed job is perfection personified. It would have been restful. The importance of centering yourself as thus is that your mind is given to one job and one job only. It is a connection that will take away sorrow and sadness until that full attention is lost.
Be aware also that the moment you leave the beauty of full attention the answer to any problems may arise. It is said that your mind is allowed to resolve the problems of your life if you give a particular task your full attention; anything less than full attention and your mind is being actively used to follow some day dream or other.
LISTEN AND LEARN
Listen to your teacher! Who is your teacher? It could be the next person you meet. Everyone has the potential to be your teacher.
Being happy allows you to SEE. Being negative will not allow you to see anything; it is as if you’re wearing blinkers.
MAKE OPPORTUNITIES
Your first discipline in reading this book is to ‘make opportunities’. How do you do this?
Be happy… Happiness is the breading ground for opportunity; you’ll never get inspired by being sad or angry.
Call this discipline ‘reading time’ and allow 15 minutes to 30 minutes each day in doing this. Read something that is motivational. This in itself helps to trigger a happy feeling.
CAUSE and EFFECT – We all are probably aware of this psychological description. If your next action is the ‘effect’ then the cause is your decision to do it. For happiness you must first have the decision to be happy.
REASON
Generally we can identify why we are happy; this is because there was a reason. In deciding there was a reason we processed an analysis of the situation. Avoid such analysis, why not be happy for NO REASON?
INNER CONFLICT
The tasks that need the most effort are often those that present us with the greatest problems. Perhaps we strive for success with more ‘brawn than brains’ and forget our intended goal has an hidden agenda or conflict preventing the job’s completion.
Strange as it may seem some people wallow in struggling! Others perhaps enjoy the struggle as they know it leads to greater prospects. Which are you?
QUOTE: “The moment you make anything into a ‘problem’, you define yourself as a victim.” (Robert Holden)
Inner conflict is a problem that we shouldn’t ignore; although in wisdom we are best submitting the problem to our subconscious to resolve, which is not too dissimilar to ignoring it. If we cannot resolve it with rational thinking then a good practice is to allow our higher mind to present the resolution.
Inner conflict is a barrier and little else will get resolved when a major battle is taking place within our mind. We must first accept that an inner conflict exists and then proceed with a practice that we know will complete the task. However as mentioned in the last paragraph, to TRUST in our higher mind cum sub-conscious mind is a good alternative to consider.
STUCK IN A RUT?
Fear, self-doubt, self-criticism and self-sabotage; all observations of a person who says they are ’stuck in a rut’, but is this a true state of affairs? Well of course it is! That’s why this person is in a rut.
What appears to happen in an attempt to resolve this situation is that they try and put right what has gone wrong. But you can’t change history!
Let’s assume for illustration purposes a boy has fallen out with his girlfriend. What tends to happen is that he wants to go back and justify his actions that lead to the break up of the relationship. He needs to deal with the past problem in the NOW. The best possible solution is to say you’re SORRY.
We don’t want to spend weeks and weeks trying to put right something that’s happened in the past, we need to act in the NOW in a positive way which makes a promise for a brighter future.
Being ’stuck in a rut’ is not so much a troubled past but being afraid of moving on. This fear is because you’re trying to put right those actions in the past. Your next ten minutes on this planet are the result of what action you take NOW.
THE MIRROR EFFECT
The principle we call the ‘mirror effect’ has several permutations, one of which is; ‘you only get out of life what you put in’. The simplicity but immense power this principle has, will consistently impress you.
Imagine this scenario… It is 9am one evening and you realize you’ll need some milk and bread for breakfast. The decision is to visit your local late opening supermarket. You quickly glance in the mirror and say, “It’ll have to do!” You rush off to the supermarket and the odds are that you’ll not talk to anyone other than the person at the till and that would only be a grunted, “Thanks.” This is the mirror effect – if you look unapproachable, nobody will approach you.
Check the mirror before you leave the house; and smile! That image will be left as a vision of yourself and subsequently what others see of you.
Mr. P. Booker
http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/pursuit-of-happiness-455047.html
Your First Residual Income Business Opportunity
October 29, 2009 | 11 Comments
The ideal online, inter net home based business for yourself is truly hard to find. This is because high costs, high fraud, poor set up and maintenance assistance when you are starting and progressing is hard to get.
The sales page and emails from the sales people are all peaches, cream and hype when you are thinking of buying into a new program or system. But, like a man or woman who picks a bad marital partner, guess what happens after you start with them?
Correct! The evil light switch comes on. They say that you should be able to figure all this out yourself.
They are mean, rude, suddenly inaccessible and even curse you for asking for help. Your refund time expires and you are out of your original investment.
A very high percentage of successful inter net marketers started out this way. They failed many times, losing lots of money, before they made their first penny from a residual income business opportunity. The honest ones will tell you this truth. Some do.
I do not say this to be negative but to give you the right options to look for to help you increase your odds, dramatically, to make a profit in your first cash flow venture. Less than one out of ten of us succeed at our first online entrepreneur venture.
Is there any way to protect yourself, at least partially, then? Yes. Pick a low priced work at home program, to limit your losses, at first.
Many of the good home business programs require you to know a bunch of basics already and you will lose in spite of them being genuine quality opportunities.
Make your mistakes with a cheap opportunity to limit your losses. Check out different ventures for a full year before you put a penny into the first one. You will have far more insight and knowledge this way and will make less mistakes.
Whenever you click on the inter net or turn on the Saturday or Sunday morning or late night infomercials, on television, you will be bombarded with offers. Choosing a business to start is easy. Choosing a good one is difficult without knowing the good points to look for.
Picking a good one to start is an important part of getting started. You need to pick one that, at least partially, interests you.
One to give you the persistence and drive to see and work it through to a profitable success. It must be well organized and set up so you can learn and teach it to duplicate yourself.
Next, you want to establish a good mentor who complements your talents. Building a team, even if you just work with one other person, is essential to building your residual income from home.
Your team must work hard, smart and earn a profit. Team choices are critical to your success. Friends and relatives you like, without talent, are wasting your money and time.
Unless you know your team member, interview as many possible candidates as you can and let them know you are serious in your business. Explain the idea you have of your income desired business, on a residual basis.
Be sure they are serious and carefully pick the best candidate. Be sure they are going to make a good effort and this will improve your odds of personal success.
Finally, to be sure your first residual income business opportunity is on the right track, think about the whole business plan. Sometimes you will get discouraged because it takes twelve to eighteen months to really get going and earning a profit.
Keep your goals and whole business plan before you and the little things, that are trips along the way, will not bog you down because your eyes and heart are on the long term. Starting is slow.
Knowing this point, will have you prepared to face the daily onslaught of screwy problems that will pop up and keep you from quitting. So you, daily, want to focus on your goals and keep them in mind.
Your first residual income program will be more likely to succeed if you take it seriously, stay calm, and stay focused on your main goal. A conscientious start will help you to avoid many pitfalls and make your beginning enterprise successful.
James Lowe
http://www.articlesbase.com/business-opportunities-articles/your-first-residual-income-business-opportunity-76298.html
Why your Romantic Desperation Never Get you Anywhere
October 29, 2009 | Leave a Comment
I’ve met countless people these days who says that they are desperate enough for a romantic life, but couldn’t get their feet just about one meter away from the girl they’re always dreaming about.
Some of those people are strangers I talk to and encounter in the bus or the waiting room, some are my close friends.
And I was once one of them too.
Being such a lossy guy, at that time I couldn’t understand why was it so hard for me to initiate relationship with girls of my type. Let alone having romance, just walking up to them seems much more difficult than giving impromptu presentation to a room full of CEOs.
If you’re like me, by now you would already have consulted several self-help materials in search for solutions. It really surprises me that no definite answer is available on such crucial topic. The more I read those books, the more I find that most intellectuals and scholars out there are either clueless or don’t have any real-life non-theoretical approach to the question.
But years of pondering and endless discussions with my friends finally bring me to a good solid reason why such thing happens.
It all roots in these two things: rejection and our fear of it.
Let’s talk about the rejection first. In every act of communication or interaction, there is always a possibility of one party to get turned down or rejected by the other. And when that happens, our mind with its highly complicated wires and system will try to extract meanings out of it.
Extracting meanings is something our brain is built for. It functions to provide us a logical cause and effect explanation. However, for most people, their brains are habituated to go even further: to take things personally.
For such people, getting a simple ‘Sorry, but I’m busy,’ hand gesture from a girl would trigger them to think, “See? She’s so out of my league, I shouldn’t have come and humiliate myself like this. I’m so stupid, I can’t believe I did this. Of course she wouldn’t want to talk to skinny guy like me, what in the world I was thinking…”
Clap your hands twice if you can see yourself in the picture above.
Listen to this: if you are always that unsympathetic and ruthless to yourself each time you get rejected, no wonder you don’t have the power next time you find an attractive girl you like.
Your own brain is jamming your own body. You shouldn’t let your past experience define your future. Stop taking things personally. And that’s a golden rule especially when dealing with women.
Remember that for every rejection you get, at least 50 percent it comes from her own emotional state. She could be just having a bad hair day, or got broken from her long term relationship, etc that she couldn’t contain herself for a good friendly conversation.
If you really think about it, you’ll understand that rejection is never truly about you. Today, years after this hit my head in the first time, I recognize that most girls who reject, look tough and bitchy are usually the ones who are so insecure about themselves.
Rarely it was because of my approach to them.
RARELY it was because of you!
This is only half of the answers, but you can’t help to notice that you are starting to feel enlightened and powerful, can you?
The second thing is that you should know that fear of rejection is a sign that your defense mechanism is still functioning well. It’s there to remind you that despite approaching the girl might be a risky business, but you mind will always be able to creatively protect yourself should things gone wrong.
Fear of rejection is simply the alarm signal, letting you know that you’re entering a ‘battle mode.’ There are two things you can do when it buzzes. First, you hold, waiting for a good time. Or second, you march on forward instantly. Most guys do the foremost with intention to build enough confidence and bag of tricks for the approach.
Unfortunately, that’s a wrong move.
When an alarm sets off, you are not supposed to wait and analyze things. It’s already too late for that! Not only it is the worst time for getting in touch with you creative side, but also you won’t be able to come up with anything good with such noises wailing inside of your head.
When fear of rejection creeps into your mind, it rings for an IMMEDIATE ACTION! Set aside your logical mind, put your intuition on the driver’s seat, and use that alerted emotional state as a new-found power to approach the girls.
I’ll always be wondering why I never found such advice in most modern self-help books these days.
I believe having understood those two important keys above is the fundamental key in ending anyone’s romantic desperation. The transformation from a lossy chump to a glossy guy can happen at any moment now. So stop reading other materials on this subject and start doing some action with your life.
Lex Hitman
http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/why-your-romantic-desperation-never-get-you-anywhere-138117.html
What Do Women Look for in Men?
October 29, 2009 | 4 Comments
Women are very finicky about their men. They know exactly what they want in a man and they have a one-track mind when it comes to finding that in any potential partner. This has given birth to a mating game that men don’t always understand. So, they should play the game cautiously! Men should try to understand how women think. They have to hack into their brains and do this, so that they can seduce women effectively. The fact is that men think that they have the “tool” to intoxicate women, a bulging tumescent tool, but women often don’t see things the same way!
It’s not that men can’t turn a woman on, but these are the rare cases – perhaps two per cent of all cases. But these odds just aren’t good enough for men, are they? So, they should try to get into the minds of women and understand them so that they can hit the jackpot more often and have an exciting and exuberant sex life. But men have to be patient and understanding first! It cannot be denied that the position of women has changed in the modern world. Today, they are prominent in every field, have achieved financial independence to a large extent and are bold and vocal. They feel that they have the right to demand sexual satisfaction and marital happiness on their own terms. So, they have their own fix on how far they can go in every matter.
Today, women choose their men carefully and decide whom they want to have sex with. As a result, men who ruled the roost earlier, have to face the humiliation of being rejected and having their overtures refused. For hundreds of years, men have done the choosing and they have generally gone by cup-size rather than IQ. Now, women want to play by the same rules.
Both men and women have physical and behavioural turn-ons as far as the other sex is concerned. If one man is turned on by the cup-size of a woman, a woman might find herself turned on by a man’s well-developed shoulders. Or if a man is turned on by bold behaviour, a woman might be turned on by sensitivity in a man. These turn-ons indicate that extreme pleasure can result from intercourse. Intellectuals often say that the aim of sex is not always pleasure.
It is the propagation of the species, they say. But arguments are mere sophistry. Sex is for pleasure, but nature has also helped in the matter of selective propagation of the fittest and best. Women are interested in sexually attractive males for the pleasure they know they will get from intercourse with them.
But attractive looks are also very important for them and a strong, sexually attractive body almost always goes with health and a strong, immune system.
WHAT TURNS ON WOMEN
Again, since wealth and status are also big turn-ons for women, this means that the offspring of such unions will have money invested in them and their chances of surviving and reproducing are very good.
In earlier times, childbirth was dangerous and often resulted in the death of the baby, the mother or both. Health and beauty generally went together and attracted males and the babies born of such unions were usually healthy and they survived. But men believe that women do not understand this and that they often couple with the wrong men.
Cathy, for instance, thinks that looks are not all that important in a man. Her man need not have the looks of a model, she says. Speaking for all women, she says that women are often attracted to a man who has a single good feature that they think is important.
That feature is often a sexy gait. So, men will have to learn to walk in a sexy manner to give the fit-to-reproduce signal. That might be easy, but what about other signals? How much are these signals under their control and how can they project them?
Women have it easier because the signals men give are less complicated and are easy to understand. Men are attracted by lusciously sexy looks. This is a signal that women can easily understand. This is why women are so looks conscious and why they are constantly trying to make themselves look more beautiful. They use everything that they think could help them, everything from lipsticks to corsets.
This is why women’s magazines are so full of beauty features and ads for cosmetics. There is no use scoffing at this because all these things help a woman to attract men. Make no mistake, all this works! Let a woman who wants to be more attractive to men, wear a pushup bra and see what a difference that makes to her social life! A woman wants the man she loves to feel that she is hot. But today, a woman who uses her wiles on men is often called a bimbo.
Men are very conscious about their physiques and feel that they are sending out the correct signals when they firm up their muscles. They can do this with bicycling, walking or by investing more money and time in it, through martial art. But they need not overdo this muscles business.
Women aren’t all that turned on by muscles. In fact, most intelligent women don’t go for the musclebound weightlifter look. Yes, women like to see well-toned arm, shoulder and chest muscles in their men, because then they can wear snug-fitting short-sleeved shirts and tank tops, which are the closest equivalents of a woman’s cleavage!
But Cathy has a word of warning. Men shouldn’t overdo the muscles-and-tight-shirt thing because of the danger of giving the impression that they are gay. Once a man has a reasonable amount of muscles, he should just wear a simple T-shirt. This will be very effective, provided that it fits him snugly and is clean.
Amy has more to say on this business of cleanliness. She says that men should wash their hair and brush their teeth regularly. Women rejoice in their own long and shining hair. So, they are definitely turned off by greasy hair. Cathy adds that no woman will willingly get into the sack with a man who smells bad. Men should, therefore, be attentive to their breath especially after they have eaten garlic or other strong-smelling foods.
MEN SHOULD BE READY
Men should brush their teeth often. Sex with a woman doesn’t go well if a man’s breath is foul. If they don’t have time to brush before sex, they should at least use a mouth freshener. Amy adds that women love long hair.
Not only do they like to keep their own hair long, they also love long hair in their men. It is an instant turn-on for them. So, men should grow their hair and then wash it often and toss it on their shoulders. Amy’s boyfriend’s hair is so gorgeous that women come up to him and touch his hair. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if your guy too had something that all the other women loved?
But not all men can have and maintain such attractive physical assets and, anyway, they consider that these cues to women are less important than other behavioural and status cues. In the past, men worried whether a woman would be able to get pregnant, survive pregnancy and childbirth and give her man many children. Women worried about whether their men would be able and willing to provide for her and her children.
As women became freer, they began to think of cheating on their men or conning them into supporting their children so that they could have genetic variety in their offspring. When women began to think like this, they also began to tilt towards seeing physical sexiness as the indicator of health and suitability in a partner.
Eric is confused. How can he impress a girl and make her think that he is kind, wealthy, respected and talented, when he is just an ordinary geek? Amy feels that being articulate, speaking correctly and having a good vocabulary is important. Cathy has this suggestion for Eric. She feels that his interest in writing poetry is a definite asset. A woman loves her man reciting original poetry to her. Even if it is not very good poetry, it proves that he loves her and that he has been thinking about her.
THE IDEAL MAN
Amy says that her husband is very considerate. He regularly opens doors for her. He is not sexist or chauvinistic. She is glad that she does not have to endure the bad-mannered losers she used to date when she was single any longer. Her husband’s good manners and generosity have convinced her that pleasant manners and good breeding melt a woman’s heart. So, men should sit back and remember all the manners that their mothers taught them! She also says that women love men who are cool. So, men should try to be cool.
Cathy says that some women are stupid enough to think that they are more intelligent and sophisticated than women were in the past. Women love men who are interested in music and poetry. They also want their men to be courteous and good listeners. Men should also be articulate, should dress well and should be capable of rising in their professions. If men are all this, women want to display their legs and breasts to them!
Women know what they want in their men and, if they don’t get what they want, they become disconsolate. So, they should make sure that men understand their signals!
Michael Douglas
http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/what-do-women-look-for-in-men-115053.html
Fighting Depression and Chronic Pain
October 28, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Fighting depression and chronic pain is one of the most courageous things you can ever do.
I remember when I was in the depths of depression. I didn’t even know I was depressed. I raged. I argued with everyone who tried to help me. I lost my job.
How did I overcome depression, and the constant, chronic pain?
The pain is not the injury
I separated the pain from the injury.
Before I continue, let me state that what you are facing is in a way, a good thing. In overcoming this, you build stronger confidence than you ever had. In overcoming this, you build self esteem and strength – you’ll have overcome one of the most terrible mental blows that can happen to a person.
There are many steps to this process, but the most important is recognising that you are suffering from chronic pain and depression. By reading this, you’ve already taken the first step.
So what’s next? What’s the vital ingredient?
Separate yourself from the pain. There is the injury, and there is the pain.
The injury is what happens to you. The pain is what you feel and how you react to it.
A physical example
It’s a simple concept, but can be hard to implement. Let me give an example.
I used to be an amateur boxer, and one day I was sparring one of the toughest guys in the gym. I was a lot bigger than him, and I was hitting him with shot after shot. He kept coming – he wouldn’t give up.
After the session I asked him for his secret. “Simple,” he said, “I just don’t react to it. I acknowledge it, I realise I made a mistake, but that’s it. I don’t feel the pain.”
And that’s it. The pain is still there, but instead of saying “I am in pain”, he thinks “There is pain in me.” It might seem a subtle difference, but it means the world.
Does that mean he’s invincible? No, he’s been knocked out before, but the injury was what stopped him, not the pain. He never quit. And that makes him a winner.
Apply it to chronic emotional pain
The same principle applies to any chronic emotional pain. Why are you in depression?
What are your injuries? Your boyfriend or girlfriend might have dumped you. You have lost your job. A loved one passed away. These injuries are undeniably real. You’d be a monster to be unaffected.
But the pain is talking about it constantly, moaning and complaining far more then is “normal”. The pain is cutting yourself, or using drugs or alcohol to numb the emotions. The pain is losing your confidence and zest for life. These are all within your control. It will be hard at first, but remind yourself that these are two separate things, and it becomes that much more manageable. You won’t fall into depression, and you will no longer suffer from chronic pain.
Albert Foong
http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/fighting-depression-and-chronic-pain-135417.html
